The world is a different place from yesterday. People are slouching, farting, arguing, and watching stupid television sitcoms. You have become complacent. You need a taskmaster. Lucky for you the gnome armies are amassing! Right now various factions of the gnome alterworld are congealing, like jello in a flash freezer, awaiting the signal moment. The Gnome Liberation Army is at the forefront!
Are you high? No, sorry, no time for that. Gnomes are too power mad now. They want your brownies, green ties, VCR remote controls, and soul shards. Careful now... if you're soul is not in original condition you should ..... be afraid ... be very afraid.
Wait, I digress... you're probably not reading this. You are. Is it too late? No, you can become a minion of the gnome army red division. Your code name will be secret smurf. You'll be the smurf that smurfs smurfs. What you say? No send up the bomb. All your base are belong to us!
|Villagers were baffled when they awoke to find their homes invaded by garden gnomes. The fourteen home-owners couldn't believe their eyes when they saw there lawns covered with the statuettes|
|Small villages are not safe either|